I Am Strong...I Am Invincible...I Am...

Thinking of this lyric in Helen Reddy's anthem: "but I'm still an embryo with a long long way to go, until I help my brother understand!"

What is it you'd like your brother to understand? That you're pushy, relentless, cunning, determined, undermining, emasculating, sneaky, overbearing...? The list could go on and on.

I am beginning to realize why I don't like women, haven't liked women, reacted negatively to women, don't trust women, would do just about anything to avoid a confrontation with a woman.

My own mother is a prime example of the things I find distasteful about women. Throughout my life she has demanded, manipulated, humiliated. She demonstrated her distaste for male decisions by arguing, silence, tears, drama, religion, illness, and yes, by subtly threatening mental and emotional angst. She didn't say it out loud but the message was clear: "you'll be sorry. You'll be very sorry if you don't comply with my wishes immediately."

The consequences would endure until compliance was achieved. This could involve grounding, spanking, restrictions of various forms, sad expressions, concerns about my going to hell etc. etc. etc. If the belt didn't work then a sorrowful expression day after day surely would. She would be astounded that anyone would think differently about something than she. Amazing woman.

So why the rant? Two reasons that come to mind immediately.

First, my mother is dying. She is going to live out the balance of her days on this earth with a clouded mind, in a building that smells of old people and antiseptic. I think she has some nerve to allow herself this final "excuse me" on the way out the door. Do I feel guilty about the whole thing? You betcha! She did a great job of teaching me about guilt...and shame...and

I doubt that I'd feel this level of resentment were it not for the situation I've placed myself in over these last 30 years.

Pastoring small churches has taught me about the meaning of bullies. I understand now why it was essential that I grow up in a culture that protects mean people and stomps on those that would be gentle. The girl on the playground with freshly sharpened nails, or the boy that laughed as he twisted my nip on the bus while the driver just sat and watched helped to prepare me for the nightmare that is the church.

The church I presently serve has more than it's share of female bullies. Well it did anyway. There is just one left, and she still runs a rampage, doing just enough to make it difficult to decide to fire her. Hell, her own husband can't stand her, why should I? I have never run into a nastier bunch than those right here, right now. Help meet? You've got to be kidding. The only man that can survive this type of trollop is a mouse.

So Helen, keep on singing your defiant anthem. I'll probably even applaud at the end, smiling inwardly at the foolishness of submitting to a woman's whims.

Hypocrisy Confronted

Matthew 9:10 And as he sat at dinner in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with him and his disciples. 9:11 When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?" 9:12 But when he heard this, he said, "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 9:13 Go and learn what this means, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners."

Mark 2:15 And as he sat at dinner in Levi's house, many tax collectors and sinners were also sitting with Jesus and his disciples--for there were many who followed him.

Luke 7:33 For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, 'He has a demon'; 7:34 the Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, 'Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!' 7:35 Nevertheless, wisdom is vindicated by all her children."

Luke 15:1 Now all the tax collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to him. 15:2 And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, "This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them." 15:3 So he told them this parable: 15:4 "Which one of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it?



My experience with the church I love is that cranks are appeased, while the objects of their crankiness are normally left to hang.
David Pettigrew (Dennison, TX)


Luke 7:36-50

36Now one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, so he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. 37When a woman who had lived a sinful life in that town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster jar of perfume, 38and as she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them.

39When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is—that she is a sinner."

40Jesus answered him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."
"Tell me, teacher," he said.

41"Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii,[d] and the other fifty. 42Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?"

43Simon replied, "I suppose the one who had the bigger debt canceled."
"You have judged correctly," Jesus said.

44Then he turned toward the woman and said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet. 46You did not put oil on my head, but she has poured perfume on my feet. 47Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little."

48Then Jesus said to her, "Your sins are forgiven."

49The other guests began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?"

50Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Alone

Here is my complaint. People have declared noisily that they will support me in difficult times, but now that crisis has arrived they are either no where to be seen or showing signs of abandoning ship. I can handle most of the realities of trouble. However, it is more than just difficult feeling like I'm standing alone.

I've watched the perpetrator work with ruthless efficiency, tearing down confidence and destroying relationships. Her work is not finished, she has an insatiable hunger for violence. The real victims imagine she is their counselor, their friend, a close ally in a noble cause. Her tools are duplicity, half-truths, and character assassination. Like the adulteress described in Proverbs 30:20, "she eats and wipes her mouth and says 'I've done nothing wrong.'"

My friends are scattering. I am alone.

1 Hear my prayer, O LORD;
let my cry for help come to you.

2 Do not hide your face from me
when I am in distress.
Turn your ear to me;
when I call, answer me quickly.

3 For my days vanish like smoke;
my bones burn like glowing embers.

4 My heart is blighted and withered like grass;
I forget to eat my food.

5 Because of my loud groaning
I am reduced to skin and bones.

6 I am like a desert owl,
like an owl among the ruins.

7 I lie awake; I have become
like a bird alone on a roof.

8 All day long my enemies taunt me;
those who rail against me use my name as a curse.
Psalm 102:1-8

Newt's American Solutions

Click the title above to check out Newt Gingrich's American Solutions.

Newt certainly is looking refreshed and ready.

Hopefully he is able to expand his commentary to explain:

How releasing 1/3 of a small known supply of oil will harm speculators. I'm all for punishing them with a serious loss too.

How oil companies with an international bent will work to benefit Americans as they are allowed to exploit reserves in the Rocky Mountain regions, Northern Alaska, the Atlantic and east Gulf of Mexico. These would be the same companies that stand to maximize oil profits that will come as a result of the Iraq war. Ah, that would be supply and demand! Thanks Adam Smith. I have just three words for Newt at this point: regulation, regulation and regulation.

I get how higher energy prices across the board will harm labor in the US. Thanks Newt.

I have no interest in energy solutions that fail to help restore a strong middle-class in the US. From my perspective, the wealthy get to share or they don't get to drill. If it doesn't translate into jobs with real pay and benefits I'm yawning big-time. While we wait for rich internationalists to become benevolent in their outlook it may be time for a new labor movement in the US that kicks butt and takes no prisoners.

The recent Supreme Court decision to limit Exxon/Mobil's punitive liability in the Valdez oil spill came at a particularly bad time to convince that the bastards should be given open season on drilling anywhere. I'm not saying the decision was wrong, but it simply points up the reality that some messes cannot be cleaned up in a way that satisfies everyone involved. Is there a plan to cover future losses by small business and individuals in a "timely fashion" when big oil screws up?

All in all, Newt gave a pretty good summary of potential opportunities to solve part of our energy problem. The other part would be greed, a difficulty he is going to have a much tougher time solving.

Ladies and Gentlemen! The President of the United States!

Much is being made of the "failed" presidency of George W. Bush these days. I'm finding the discussion amusing as I believe that in the mind and heart of good 'ol George there is a sense that the past 7-8 years have been fabulously successful.

George has managed his real constituency well. If some of his friends are experiencing financial breakdowns and crisis right now it surely isn't his fault alone. He pandered to the desires of his friends, turning a blind eye to the mismanagement of this countries mortgage industry. George found it helpful, even necessary, to shower the wealthiest Americans with gratuities amounting to billions of dollars in tax cuts. He further feathered his nest by creating an unnecessary war that has squandered the potential wealth of millions of Americans while enriching the friends of the Dick Cheney society. Companies like Halliburton shall forever be in his debt.

With the help of Karl Rove the President managed to seduce an entire affinity group into believing he was on their side. Evangelical Christians, led by the likes of James Dobson, Jerry Falwell and Ted Haggard, consistently voted against their own interests in order to shore up their favorite causes. If they imagined this President was going to fully embrace their pet parades of anti-abortion and anti-gay they were seriously deluded. George was busy making economic hay for his real friends.

Under the stewardship of good 'ol George our culture has defined itself by greed, a new measure of corruption, and cronyism. His political and cultural philosophy takes us down to a pit of uncaring, selfish indifference not seen in this country since the administration of Herbert Hoover.

Has George failed? He has failed only those of us who cannot measure up to his devious standard of personal importance. But he will leave office knowing full well that he has succeeded in blessing the lives of his true constituency, or at least attempting to bless them until they fall on their own swords.

Prison Dreams

I have been letting my mind wander a bit today, dreaming about some serious retribution for our war-mongering, culture changing, country dividing leadership. While they are soon to be out of the West Wing, I'm hoping they aren't forgotten in their retirement years. Some suggestions for appropriate accommodation for several of these rascals follows:

What to do with Karl Rove? I picture Karl in a for profit institution in some hell hole locale like Arizona. Doubtless he'll survive well in a cubicle without seasonal conditioning and a roommate named "Twinkie". Provide with a t-shirt that reads, "PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS" and then leave him to his own secretive, twisted devices in an exercise yard without supervision.

Donald Rumsfeld. Donald belongs in Leavenworth, no two ways about it. Place him in a cell just slightly out of reach of an ex-drill sergeant named Bruno. A lifetime of hearing Bruno's cajoling and threats can't make up for the damage this hack has done to our country's military integrity.

Guantanamo, Cuba is the destination for Dick Cheney. Let the former VP enjoy playdates in a holding area constructed of chain link and razor wire, with a hoard of irritated Al Quaida wannabees. Take him out every two weeks for a good water boarding to remind him that assholes still fall worldwide from time to time.

For good measure let's add David Addington, a man successful at doing his damage behind the scenes...well mostly. David can spend his autumn years in a country club type facility, say Nellis down in North Las Vegas. While he makes use of the lavish amenities there, like intramural sports, fitness equipment and crafts like basketweaving, his WW friends can languish in less auspicious surroundings. We'll make sure they all know he's there, and do a Karl by suggesting he gave them all up! Yea!

George Walker Bush. Who frigging cares what is done to this wastrel? Take him out of the mix and replace him with any number of average to lower Republican politicians and you get the same result. But to insure he never ever reemerges as a threat to our civilization, place him in an oubliette somewhere in the south of France with a steel mask to muffle his screams. You think south of France sounds too cliche? Good idea ... add recordings of Jerry Falwell making cliche ridden sermonettes 24/7. Love it!

Doggy Doo

After a lengthy absence I returned to blogspot.com to gaze upon my unnoticed and unread stream. Then, after a brief moment of excitement, I clicked on the comments button with trembling hands as it seemed some 14 people had left remarks. Woohoo!

I should have known better. The responses were there for some of the words or even my name. Now I know how to get rich, increase my wealth, and where to go if I want to be successful. A few nice words about the blog...all contrived to drag me off to some website that glitters with the promise of an abundant future.

Words on the internet can achieve funny things. I just did a google of a combination of two words, "dog crap" to see what might come up. Now I knew you can get "anything you want at Alice's restaurant" but I had no idea that dog crap is available at Ebay. There it is in black and white...in any font you may choose for your browser...Dog Crap! Find great deals and save! There is "dog crap" at Deviant Art, "dog crap" on fine china, even an offer for an internet domain called...you guessed it..."dog_crap.com". I'm signing up for that one!